Funny Quotes

Can you find funny Bible quotes in the Bible? Even though it is not a book for jokes or humor, you can still find some funny phrases and stories inside the Bible. They are some of the most entertaining Christian funny quotes you can find.

So why it is so? Does God want to tell us it is good and encouraged to have fun and enjoy ourselves? Does you want to tell us he is not that serious and strict that some of us may think? You can think anyway you like, but the fact is we can find many funny quotes in the Bible.

Here are some of the funniest parts you can find…

1. Funny Bible Quote:

Proverbs 21:19 (New Living Translation)
“It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.”

2. Funny Christian Quote:

Proverbs 31:6 (New International Version)
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”

3. Funny Bible Quote:

One time, Jesus was asked to leave town to for kill all the pigs… Matthew 8:28-34 (New International Version)

“When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”

Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.” He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. “

4. Funny Bible Quote:

Proverbs 29:20 (New Living Translation)
“There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.”

Did you enjoy the funny quotes above taken from the Bible? Then you can find even more amusing quotes and funny stories here.

Originally published here.

Looking for Short Funny Quotes and sayings to make you laugh? Sometimes nothing is more humorous and entertaining than short funny quotes.

Then check out these new Famous Funny Movie Quotes to enjoy yourself and have a great time.

Humor is an essential part of our lives, is as necessary as all other fuzzy emotions such as love, anger, etc. It dictates how comfortable we feel at our workplace, with a person we just met and how much money we make (in some cases!). The truth is that without humor we are as good as dead. Humor brightens our day and changes our entire perspective about our daily routines in a second. Yes, that’s the power of humor, it is so big that the entertainment industry is currently is above the real estate market (as far as earnings), but don’t take my word for it, look it up!. A decent comedian in comedy central makes more money than a mortgage broker without having all the work related stress.

Now that we have established that humor is great, an important part of our lives and big business, lets start by analyzing the way humor affects our daily life. If you have a desk job, work within a big corporation, are in sales, etc. you have probably noticed that once in a while there comes a person who with just a few words brightens your day, or there is a co-worker you just can’t imagine being without, no, I’m not talking about being in love, we are referring to humor.

It is a fact that most of the people (91.3% actually) who find a job boring, will end up leaving it in less than 3 months. That is just terrible from an employer’s point of view, they loose money by training new employees every few months. Employers and most companies know this, that is why we often hear, “A company name, the best place to work at”, or during the recruitment process we hear “Our company is a leader of this rapidly growing market and offers a fun environment to work at”. What statements like that usually mean is you’ll be buried in paperwork and running around all day long, but off course some people like to work hard so they are the 1% exception. There is nothing funny about jobs like that but they have to advertise it that way to get people interested.

Every now and then, we come across certain individuals who overcame their environment or simply have a different perspective of life who break the ice with a funny sentence, others simply try to memorize jokes and funny quotes, but when they forget about a critical line of the joke they crash and burn, they know it and so does everybody else but people end up laughing because of “social respect”.

For instance, don’t you feel a bit awkward every time someone who you know, is not a good at telling jokes, and this person constantly tries to break the ice with his/her less than funny jokes?, it has happened to me and everyone. I just wish that for once I wouldn’t be the one saying the bad jokes!.

Not everyone has joke telling talents, and that’s OK. But people who know don’t have such talent shouldn’t attempt stunts like these in public. There are many comedians I can reference to but I’ll quote Ronald Reagan (Yeah, the president). Regardless of his highly stressful occupation (and age), he was a “mentally hilarious” person who knew how to deliver a good-funny line at the right moment. For example:

– When asked by a reporter what kind of Governor he would be (back in 1966), he answered “I don’t know. I’ve never played a governor.”

– When he was asked about the deficit the country was going through he said “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”

– When asked about the Government views on economy, instead of talking about foreign exchange markets, interests, war etc. he said “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

– Or, “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”

As you see by these few examples show that being funny has nothing to do with lengthy jokes, its all about delivery and honest but simple lines, an average person can understand. By average I mean 93.4% of the population.

Learning how to use irony, juxtaposition and delivery can set you apart from the rest of the boring people, so help change the world for the best.

By the way, did you know that over 95% of all statistics are made up in the spot?; you might just want to keep that in mind!.

Originally published here.

FunnyAndJokes provide many more funny quotes and jokes to help you laugh and become even funnier. Learn hilarious blonde jokes and kids jokes perfect for almost any occasion. Visit us today!

Are you stressed out due to work pressure or due to your family? Do you need a daily laughter? Have you ever tried searching for funny stupid, humorous, silly quotes?

Reading quotes is one of the best ways to be happy. It acts as a stress buster and helps you release your daily tensions. These quotes or sayings are becoming increasingly popular day by day because of this only. Everyday millions of people search for funny stuff on the internet. This trend is increasing day by day because the world is now gripped with stresses. Not only old, but now teens are also so much stressed out that the rate of crime is increasing at an alarming pace.

So what is the solution to curb this increasing stress menace? If we see internet statistics, jokes, quote and sayings, funny pictures rank among top 50 searched items. So the best way to be happy is to spend 5-10 minutes per day reading jokes, quotes or seeing funny pictures. But now the other problem also arises, i.e. internet is filled with so much stuff which parents don’t want the children to see. So if you are worried about safe sites for your children then stop worrying about it. I am going to tell you how you can enjoy with clean jokes and pictures on internet.

The very first way is to use strict control on search engines. Google offers a strict moderate or no filter option. Keep it strict and save your preferences. Moreover you should narrow your search to specific keywords. Writing just jokes will fetch you millions of results but those would be not safe for all children. Instead search for clean jokes or jokes for children and enjoy those jokes, pictures with family.

I will conclude it with few quotes

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

- Maryon Pearson

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

- Gracie Allen

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

- Kin Hubbard

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.

- H. L. Mencken

Originally published here.

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